Waltz
by theycallmemichelle
Summary: I didn’t believe it. She wouldn’t have the nerve to come to my party and ruin my fun and my life. Not after leaving me. Not after failing to be my best friend. She wouldn't dare. And yet there she was." Blair and Serena's POVs on Serena's return. ONESHOT


"Blair? It's Serena!" I hear my mother call outside my bedroom door.

Nate's head jerked up at the sound of Serena's name.

"Serena?" He echoed, sitting up and abandoning me on the bed. Dammit. I was so close. _We_ were so close to finally doing it.

"Serena's at school." I assured him. "Kiss me..." I tried to pull his face closer to mine, but he stood up.

"But I just heard your mom say she was here. Don't you wanna go say hey?" Nate insisted, putting his shirt back on.

"Yeah." I lied, zipping my dress back up. "Totally."

I had partially known Serena was back from boarding school. I had gotten a text message screaming her return with a picture-of-proof of her glowing face at Grand Central Station. Nate always had a thing for Serena. If I wanted to keep Nate for myself I had to seal the deal. Although it was the middle of my own party, I didn't care. I pulled Nate away from a college-conversation with his father and into my bedroom, beginning a heated make-out session. I had only made it thus far before it was announced that Serena was actually at my party.

I didn't believe it. She wouldn't have the nerve to come to _my_ party (uninvited) and ruin _my_ fun and _my_ life. Not after leaving me for boarding school. Not after not being there in my time of need, when my Dad left my mom for another man. Not after failing to be my best friend. Not after not bothering to even think of her best friend's feelings before she left for boarding school.

Would she? No. She wouldn't dare.

And yet there she was. Standing so innocently—still in her travel clothes. She pretended not to see me—although we clearly made eye contact—until I was in front of her with a fake smile.

"Hi!" I exclaimed, hugging her. "So good to see you!" A lie.

"Hey," she said with warmth in her tone. "I've missed you," a lie.

I pretended I didn't hear. "Come, we're about to have dinner," I started to lead her to the dining room. It was the polite thing to do. But if I had my way, I would have kicked her right out then and there.

"I'll set you a place next to Blair," my mother chimes in after a quick hello to Serena's mother. I grinned, but really I was gritting my teeth. Why did mother have to make things so difficult?

"Um…actually, I can't," Serena protested, stopping in her tracks.

I turned to face her, ice in my eyes. "You're leaving?" I added a quick smile to hide my rage.

"Yeah, sorry. There's somewhere I have to be. But…I'll see you at school tomorrow!" She smiles—one of her Serena smiles that melts hearts. But mine couldn't be melted. It was frozen solid. And then she left my party, right then and there.

School? I couldn't believe it. The bitch is back for good. As soon as her back was turned I glowered at it and walked away. Life would now be hell for her unless my name isn't Blair Waldorf.

Unfortunately for Serena van der Backstabber, it was.

x

The Shepard wedding...ah. Memories. Some good, some bad. So bad I barely remember the good.

The good I remember is me and Nate...well. Doing it. For that I felt terrible. Nate was Blair's boyfriend. I was her best friend. That was how it was supposed to be. I left in a hurry, leaving my virginity with Nate. My yellow party dress was soiled. I was wearing Nate's unbuttoned white shirt over it. I meant to return it to him somehow. I never got around to it.

I didn't want to go home. Mom (sick with the flu) would have asked me how the wedding was. I would have eventually spilled the beans. Mom would have been so angry. It wasn't how she raised me. So I took a cab to Georgina's apartment. Georgina Sparks was my second best friend. She was an alcholic druggie, but she was still a hell of a lot of fun. And she would be a lot more understanding than Blair.

Georgina welcomed me with a glass of scotch and a listening ear. Although I didn't know how listening she'd be...she sounded buzzed. So I drank up on scotch with few gulps. The burning sensation felt good, but all I could think about was Nate. Nate and Blair. I told Georgina all about it. She seemed to listen, although by then I think she was drunk. I was simply buzzed. Buzzed and exhausted. And dizzy.

Then our friend (also an alchoholic druggie) Peter arrived; he and Georgina drank shots while I went to the bathroom. I threw up everything I ate into Georgina's sink. All I ate at the wedding (appetizer, main, salad, and dessert course), my breakfast, and all the scotch I guzzled. Now I felt hungry. I rinsed my mouth out with tap water and popped a piece of Orbit gum in my mouth. Power-chewing, I sat down on Georgie's bed next to Peter, who was preparing a snort of cocaine for himself. Georgina was apparently in the cellar, getting a pack of beers for us.

I took Nate's white shirt off. I had taken the party dress off in the bathroom, stuffing it in my purse. Now all I had on was my sports bra and panties. It was so hot...I couldn't bear the heat. And all I thought about was Nate...Blair...Nate...Blair...so hot in here...

Peter tried to feel me up, kissing my neck. I pushed him away. "Not now. It's too hot...too hot," I whined.

"You _are_ too hot," Peter insisted, kissing me. I let him. What did it mattter. He kissed me more. It was too hot. His hand reached to my breast--"No!" I shoved him away. "Here. Just...do your cocaine," I said, distracting him with his precious drug. I sat up and watched him snort it up. And again. He sighed contendedly.

And then something that wasn't supposed to happen happened. Foam started to gather at his mouth. He was shaking uncontrollably. His eyes rolled in the back of his head. Oh my god. What was wrong with him? "Georgie!" I screamed, standing over Peter. "GEORGINA!"

Georgina was back in an instant. "What?" she snapped.

"Peter...Peter's having seizures. I...I think he OD'd on cocaine," I gasped.

"Oh my god. Oh my GOD..."

"I know, we have to call an ambulance!" I searched frantically for my cell phone in my purse.

"No! Are you kidding? There's drugs everywhere, we'll go to jail!" Georgina protested, slapping my hand.

"But we can't just leave him!" I insisted.

"No. Just take everything that belongs to you and get the hell out of here!" She started grabbing random things. Perfume bottles, empty beer bottles...perscription bottles. Everything. I grabbed my purse and quickly threw my dress on, stuffing the shirt in its place in my purse. Then I opened my cell phone.

"What are you doing?" Georgina screeched.

"Look, I'm just--Hello, 911? Yes, we have a boy here with...seizures and...he overdosed on cocaine. Um...the Plaza hotel, room 34, third room on the left! Pl-Please hurry!" I hung up quickly and rushed out the door. Georgina had left without me. That was the last I saw of her for awhile.

I waited outside the apartment building for the paramedics. They came. They left. But I saw something I didn't want to see. Peter was on a stretcher. Dead. I had killed him. I had given him the cocaine and he had died. It was my fault...all my fault. I--I had to get out of Manhattan. I had to get out of New York!

I convinced my mom to let me go to boarding school in New Hampshire. I stayed there for a year and a half. My brother Eric tried to kill himself. But I couldn't come back...I couldn't. Mom put him in the Ostroff center for the disturbed and addicted. When they were going to let him out finally, I decided to go back to New York. I had a reason. Eric meant the world to me.

Boarding school changed me. I was no longer bad-girl Serena, who only cared about partying and alcohol. I was now Serena van der Woodsen, straight A good-girl who watches her attitude. I would never kill anyone again. No one would share the same fate as Peter on my watch. I arrived in Manhattan, Mom told me to meet her at the Waldorf's penthouse. Blair was having a party, apparently. My time to face Blair had come. I had abandoned her and she was probably pissed. But she was my best friend. She'd be glad I was home.

I arrived at the party and immediately found Mom. Supposedly Eric wasn't being let out after all. I was furious. Now I had to stay in Manhattan. And for no reason. I prepared to leave--I was going to visit Eric at the Ostroff center. I ran into Blair. But before that I saw Nate. Beautiful, wonderful, charming Nate. He made a knowing smile at me, telling me that no, he didn't forget the Shepard Wedding. He started to walk towards me...and then Blair beat him to it.

"Hi!" she exclaimed, hugging me. "So good to see you!" I was a bit confused. We had locked eyes as she walked towards me. I had turned away, pretending not to see her. I was too guilty.

"Hey," I shakily said. "I've missed you," I ventured, rubbing her arm maternally.

She ignored the comment. "Come, we're about to have dinner,"she tugged me towards the dining room. Then I saw , her smiling face towering over me.

"I'll set you a place next to Blair," she chimed in. Blair grinned. Hard. My smile wavered.

"Um…actually, I can't," I said, remembering Eric.

Blair's face darkened. "You're leaving?" A disappointed smile replaced her furious expression so quickly I doubted it was ever there.

"Yeah, sorry. There's somewhere I have to be. But…I'll see you at school tomorrow!" I reassured her, giving a quick wave and walking out the door. That was the Serena van der Woodsen way. Arrive late, leave early.


End file.
